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Mozart’s Wife, By Juliet Waldron.

on July 26, 2012

It’s time for a guest review! This is by Bonzodoodajsteele, a good friend of mine in real life, not just on the internet, and is one cool chick. I’ve never read this book myself, but I just want to start this post off with a quick story:

One day Bonzodoodajsteele comes up to me very seriously and says, “Emily Geek, I need to talk literature with you.”

I’m always up for a good literature discussion, so then she tells me two things about Mozart’s Wife.

1. “I think this lady has a boner for Mozart.”

2. Then she made me read the part about the period. (WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME.)

But anyway, I’ll let her tell you about it.

Mozart’s Wife, By Juliet Waldron.

Ok. First book review ever. What better way to break the ice than to review a Kindle Freebie!

First and foremost, I am a book racist. I am a sucker for an interesting cover, title, or promising “free” price range. So when I saw Mozart’s wife on the top 100, it was an obvious yes. The title was cool, the cover looked relatively not porn-esque.( which we would later find to be untrue…oy)

I began to read this book. And doubt washed over me. It read like a teen fiction book, you jive? But I stuck through, because it was plucky, and was, despite the angstiness, not badly written. The way it describes Constanze’s childhood, and growth into a young women (and the object of Mozart’s affection) was tender, and descriptive without turning into a Dicken’s novel (EG: Dude got paid by the word. To say his books were lengthy would be an understatement). Before I go any further,
I need to make it clear…..I Like this book. But there was a point, after Constanze and Mozart realized they were crazy for one another, till just after they get married that it got…weird. It felt like the author had a boner for Mozart. Which is very.very.weird. To put it Mildly….Constanze calls him Wolfi, and describes him feeling up her Vag as if she was an instrument. “He played us both to Happiness.” She describes the horror of having to tie her “raggin” it rags, and the devastating fear the he just wouldn’t get it. He pats her Vag.

Let me repeat.

He. PATS.her cloth swaddled. Blood oozing.VAGINA.


Wolfgang. Amadeus.

But after that point, the book becomes strangely enthralling, and hard to put down. I was very impressed by Ms. Waldons ability to sway into what I like to call the Historical Fiction format.

Historical Fiction Format

Leading Lady( it is always a lady) is waifish, and vulnerable, virginal but with a kinky side.
Love The sex. So much sex oozing from him. Probably a soldier of some sort
Setting: Lush. Weather predicts the mood (when the sex happens, because the sex always happens, its swelteringly hot outside. When there is sickness, death, or fighting…it rains, ectera, ectera)
Descriptions: Lush to the point of ridiculous. From the stays, to the food, to the hair, to the houses, to the dogs, to the sex, when one word would suffice, paragraphs would do better. Everything described in painstaking detail.

Sex: Frequent, and graphic, and usually coupled with the overflowing description. This is disconcerting when the historical novel is about a real life famous person. ( I like Ben Franklin as much as the next chick, but I REALLY do not want nitty gritty details on what whore he ate like an ice cream cone. )

Dialogue: “Oh really Mr. Fancyhorsemcsoldierson….how quaint”

“ Ms. Tightcorsetnodrawers, I must take you here, and now!”

Ms. Waldon doesn’t do this. The descriptions are accurate, and plentiful, the leading lady is strong, the dialogue, while a touch silly, smacks of realism. But the real reason that this book stands out, is that its leading man isn’t a tall dashing soldier. It’s Mozart, a short man, with wild hair, a somewhat plain angelic face, and almost no money to his name. It’s a good book, with a misleading start. Read it, you won’t regret it. Its 4 dollars on kindle, and it is the perfect addition to your poolside reading stack. If you like unique historical fiction, music, or a good, heartwarming love story that isn’t cloying, or predictable, you will like Mozart’s Wife.

Rating: 7 out of 10.


Guess what? 😀

As of Monday, this blog has had 100 views!

Consider this blog is, as of this post, a little over a month old, this is HUGE.

For those of you reading this, whether you have been following for a good while or just happened to stumble on this whether surfing the web, thank you for all your support.

Special thanks to Linkara, (of Atop the Fourth Wall) for being a cool enough person to retweet EVERYONE that asks him for one, including me. I’m convinced he’s the only reason I’ve gotten half the reviews I got.

Also, thanks to my Facebook friends and my Twitter followers for being ok with the fact that half my statuses and tweets are me just begging for them to read my silly blog.

Here’s to a hundred more views!

-Emily Geek





3 responses to “Mozart’s Wife, By Juliet Waldron.

  1. dukebarclay says:

    Well, I seem to remember that Mozart was less than dignified in person.

    Don’t think of him as “MOZART The Greatest Composer to Ever Live!!!!”

    Think of “Mozart…that guy who liked to make poop jokes.”

  2. bonzodoodajsteele says:

    Mozart definately was the most fun character in the book.

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